|
|
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
| |
8:58 pm
|
"Social Security helps more low-income families than welfare and protects the entire family from poverty when a working family member becomes disabled or dies." - Sojourners article
First half of statement: wow. Good reason to support its continuation as is!
Second half of statement: I can verify that personally.
I've been wondering about the Social Security debate, and these are two points that make sense. Finally.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 17th, 2005
| |
2:50 pm - Merry's first meme
|
...of my own making, that is.
Here's what it entails: describe yourself in ten words (or five pairs of words, as I've done) and then explain why those are "you."
Here's mine:
COMPULSIVE STUDENT
BITTER CHRISTIAN
FRETTING PESSIMIST
GYPSY MINSTREL
ARTS DEALER
( My explanations: )
Describe yourself!
current mood:  headachy
current music: The minstrel's song from The Mikado
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, March 26th, 2005
| |
11:09 pm - The good and the bad
|
First the bad: a bird's droppings fell on me this morning as I biked to see friends; I went home to change and never did go back out again to see those friends (sorry, J/S). Also, today is the third night I've spent in the house alone. I never worked as an RA in college in order to have roommates around - I lived in a triple not only because I liked the people, but also in order to always have roommates around. You'd think, with three roommates in the house now, that I'd never be alone...
The good: Staying home today meant I got to clean my room (it's the end product that makes the bliss) and do a few errands in the area (including buying local honey from Whole Foods and printing out some writing notes at the library). Being home alone, these past three nights, has meant I've actually had private time to write!
And the surprising: A few hours ago, as I left Publix, a random stranger helped me position my plastic bags ($75 worth of groceries) on my handlebars, after mentioning that he's had to ride a bike with groceries before. It was just a nice thing to do. He really didn't deserve to have his cart go flying out into the road as he tried to help me.
Easter tomorrow. Sunrise service, if I can rouse myself out of bed for it, and I'm singing the morning service at Killarney with the choir. I've invited a few over for lunch; I'm going to use my new crockpot for the first time. It'll be good.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: The hum of my "new" laptop, and Beethoven's ninth
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 13th, 2004
| |
9:52 pm
|
THERE'S A FIREPLACE IN MY LIVING ROOM!
*dies*
*dances*
Here's some Merry (not Christmas) news.
*My job is super cool. My bosses are kind, my work is slightly ARTSY and entirely FINICKY, and to top it all off, I get paid to take vacation.
*I just figured out that we're supposed to do good. Boggle at that one for a moment.
*I LOVE CHRISTMAS. (Okay, that's Christmassy.)
*I'm very slowly starting to understand myself. And maybe people, too. It's crazy, and I only half-believe it.
*My birthday is next week. Make a wish! Or tell me what I should do to make it significant. (Like, last year I read the LOTR trilogy for the seventh time. I don't have quite that amount of time this year... I just want to go somewhere or do something on the day itself that means something to me. Birthdays, I think, shouldn't require presents and cake but import. Ooooohhh... got an idea.)
*I think I'm starting to be able to wait for the career (life) I want... or am I giving up? I can't quite tell. Either way, I think it's good, because whenever I try to move forward I feel very definitely that it's not time yet. And I know I'm not enough developed as a person yet. So, God? Um... *shuts eyes tight* I'll trust you. Okay?
current mood:  Christmassy
current music: Brahms, Ein Deutsches Requiem
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
| |
10:19 pm - "Seasonal" Update
|
I'm most happy, lately, when the air is slightly cool and very crisp--fall is my favorite time of year! (See my entry from last year--I think I have a seasonal cycle!) Those "visions of sugarplums," from the poem... I get that kind of bliss just sniffing autumn air. I'm dead serious.
I'm already playing Christmas music, if you can believe it. I found this awesome Christmas music station online, commercial free, 80s/90s/today (MIX105.1 produces it). I must confess, I was actually playing Christmas music a week before Halloween (a Bing Crosby tape my Nana gave me years ago). I love this holiday. It was always great to be a music major, because right about October we'd start singing Christmas songs in preparation for our Christmas concerts! I still get to do that, because I'm still part of the Bach choir.
current mood:  holidayish
current music: "Happy Holidays" from the new channel
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, September 16th, 2004
| |
10:03 pm
|
I agree with you : we can't put our lives on hold until they settle down. "Settling down" doesn't seem to be a prominent characteristic of life after graduation (*understatement*). Even when you think you're settling down... something else quakes and you're back in limbo. Livin' la vida limbo.
Thanks, roomies, for a beautiful time drinking and carousing (translate: singing and giggling over a glow-in-the-dark puzzle). It's nice to know that we can approximate drunken hilarity on mere caffeine, courtesy of the Havana Cola Mojito *shameless plug*. Thanks, too, for tolerating my cooking. It was fun!
I'm taking a friend's advice on writing: "Only pick ripe apples." (You're waiting with bated breath to hear that one explained, I know.) So I'm only working on the form I'm interested in (the novel), the genre I'm interested in (fantasy), and the specific parts of the current work that happen to catch my fancy (right now, the six-unique-character-quirks I borrowed from Kel, and the particulars of my system of magic). That means I'm not working on literary short stories. Good riddance (until the day when I take up interest in them, of course).
Monday I start my grown-up job at United Arts! I'm so excited, and hopeful...
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Sing a Song--Third Day
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, August 29th, 2004
| |
3:22 pm - Wow, I survived my first summer.
|
I don't feel like I accomplished anything I set out to do, but as said in church this morning--it's more about faith than about performance. So watch me go strive to perform again. *tired grin* Right, right, I'll try to trust.
I had a very nice day yesterday at the downtown library, although I had barely enough energy to keep standing. (I don't know why I've been tired these past two weeks.) I found a sidewalk cafe just a block away, too (really a set of six bars), with acoustic guitar playing on the loudspeaker... I read poetry with a chicken sandwich and mulled over the pristine walkways. (I wonder at how much I like a place with signs posted to keep the homeless from sleeping on benches.) It was, overall, quite pleasant.
Last night (two nights ago?) my roomies told me someone looked at a picture of me and thought I had an eating disorder. I don't, but I'm a little worried (okay, a lot worried, because I worry easily) about the discrepancy between the six meals a day I eat (or at least, did eat before this new job) and the lack of weight gain or full-stomach-feeling or even energy. I've taken to drinking Ensure at my new job, where I can't graze like I prefer. And I'm watching what I eat carefully to make sure there's lots of variety, all the food groups, plenty of nutrition, etc. Eh, anyway, it's something new to think about. I was getting bored.
I'm so happy to see the Rollins folk back! I missed you all so much this summer. It's so nice to see you at home and at Killarney. And it's doubly wonderful to hear your stories about what God's doing in InterVarsity. Happiness!!!!
I love my roomies! <3
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, July 26th, 2004
| |
9:45 pm - I am now a gainfully employed member of the workforce.
|
Or some such nonsense. I HAVE A JOB!
I think I've not updated much this summer because livejournal, for me, is a reflection of what I like about myself--and this summer I have liked myself too little to comment. Not having a job made me feel less able, less worthwhile, less human. Not to mention the floods of guilt and worry I weathered over my debts and the future.
All of this is ridiculous, of course (human beings are not measured by their jobs or finances or possessions... it's not my responsibility to provide for myself, when it comes right down to it--it's God's, as long as I'm serving Him); I have told myself this over and over for the past three months, trying to keep my faith intact and my psyche calm. I've sunk pretty low into negativity, and risen (been lifted) out of it. I hope I've forged some tools that will help with future crises (oh, they will happen). I hope I've grown a little compassion for people in rougher situations than mine. I really hope I've learned to trust God better. All I know is that I have learned and grown this summer, and that I survived only with God's grace and the help of certain amazing friends. My family's been an unlooked-for blessing, too.
There was a sweet center to this sour-candy summer after all.
current mood: hopeful
current music: Pray for Rain--PFR
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, June 19th, 2004
| |
1:52 pm - It's fate... or the plans of malevolent librarians
|
I've just finished that stellar book by Jodi Picoult, and read in the FAQ on her website this paragraph:
Who are your favorite authors?
Alice Hoffman, Jo-Ann Mapson, Luanne Rice, Alice Hoffman, Anita Shreve, Ann Hood, Amy Tan, Diana Gabaldon, Alice Hoffman, Jacqueline Mitchard, Sara Donati, Alice Hoffman, Susan Isaacs, Elinor Lipman, Chris Bohjalian, Ann Tyler, and Jane Hamilton. Oh, and did I mention Alice Hoffman?
That made me feel a little out of touch, because I hadn't read ANY of these authors. Not one measly book.
So I pick up my lunch an hour later and settle down with the nearest book, the one nestled under my pillow for the next moment I can stand to dig through its thick descriptions. It's one of those Town books that feels constrained to make you aware of every nuance of the place before getting into the point of the story--and it's beautiful, sure, but it takes a certain mood of patience.
THEN I NOTICE THE COVER: THE BOOK IS AUTHORED BY ALICE HOFFMAN.
I never heard of Alice Hoffman, and didn't know anything about her earlier this week when I picked up her The River King on the YA new-books shelf (it is, I think, misplaced, though I don't know yet). It's Jodi Picoult's favorite author. I didn't even pick out the books together. Iiiiiinteresting.
Of course, now, I'll hate The River King. It couldn't go any other way. :D
current mood:  mysterious
current music: Welcome Home - Shaun Groves
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| |
10:32 am - Another reason I want to write
|
My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
A thirteen-year-old girl sues her parents for the right to refuse to donate parts of her body... signing the death sentence of her older sister.
The subject matter is sort of Lurlene McDaniel meets John Grisham, but the writing... *swoons* the plot, the characterization... worlds ahead of those two.
Amazon reviews
Author website
----
I have suddenly remembered that Salem was promised. *hopes*
current mood:  inspired
current music: Nothing. The bird's sleeping!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 17th, 2004
| |
10:08 am
|
The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking...
one of the best 80s films I've seen in a while.
What is with me? Kids' movies, kids' novels...I'm reverting to my childhood!
*celebrates*
current mood:  giggly
current music: Pippi LONGstocking is cooooming into your town...
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, June 12th, 2004
| |
6:14 pm
|
I am people-stupid. I will never understand them!
...unfortunately, I have to live and work with people for the rest of my life (and wouldn't want to do without them if I could). So what on earth am I supposed to do?
*weeps*
current mood:  moody
current music: something
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, June 6th, 2004
| |
2:09 pm - Types
|
It turns out (and I'm not surprised) that by the Meyers-Briggs test--Harry Potter version, my best friend Janet H. and I are exactly the opposite (she's ENFP, I'm ISTJ). No wonder we get along! :D I guess it helps that we've got lots of things in common (God, fantasy novels, writing, the list goes on). And that Janet's such a giving, caring person. I'm blessed to know her! <3
current mood:  thankful
current music: bird adjustment music
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, June 5th, 2004
| |
11:05 am - Age and dream
|
I never expected twenty-somethings to be so young (I'm speaking both of my peers and myself). If I had, I would never have been afraid to turn into one. And I would not be repeating to myself so often now, "I'm twenty-two," as if that ought to mean something--in the sense of having attained a stable career, a stable marriage, and stable finances (instead of being jobless and relationshipless and penniless).
What I hear God saying to me right now is, "Wait... and don't worry." It's for the best, especially since all these expectations and worries have made me sick (yes, again, or perhaps still). But it's still hard. (Impossible, almost, but God often asks the impossible...)
What am I supposed to fill that empty hole of expectation-and-worry with? (Don't give me a Sunday School answer.) I have to learn to make do with different (not smaller) dreams; writing helps, since it's a step in the direction I've longed to go. Building a social life helps, setting up habits of contact with dear friends, planning outings with them. This beautiful house and neighborhood help--though I'm half-ashamed to be so materialistic--it turns out my surroundings are rather important to me, and I do better when the glimpses of real life over the pages of my books are aesthetically pleasing. Real life--being out of school, making my own decisions--is a big help.
I'm not quite so afraid now that I know God's got a plan.
current mood: waiting
|
|
(8 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
10:53 am - I don't think this will surprise anyone.
|
I wasn't sure it was going to come out right, with the questions (I'm always sure I'm answering them wrong, because I have no frame of reference to judge them by). But it did (the right Meyers-Briggs answer, anyway).
( Harry Potter Personality Quiz )
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 31st, 2004
| |
3:09 pm - Dumbfounded
|
Our Elfy (house elf! :D) can make foccacia bread! As good as Panera's!!!
I'm surrounded by people who know what herbs are.
My cooking self-esteem is saved, nevertheless, by the fact that I am still the only one in this house who, as of last Friday, knew how to steam broccoli. Go me.
|
|
(8 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
1:11 pm
|
A semi-local college offers a biweekly salary of over $800 for jobs I am probably qualified for. Why am I considering a job that pays minimum wage, that keeps waffling about when exactly they can pay me?
Right. Because it's in my field.
My brother and his wife are pregnant! And so is my cousin. I get two little ones to spoil this year! I've been so looking forward to being an aunt.
I've been writing... sort of... really, just planning the novel I've wanted to write since I pounded out a simply disgraceful version in 2000. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to write it (up to my standard, that is), but in the meantime I'll have a whole lot of fun deciding how it'll go.
I'm trying to get over being sick, before I have to go out and pound the pavement again tomorrow. Wish me luck.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 24th, 2004
| |
9:05 pm - I still don't have a job.
|
This is bad, as I have several debts to pay... and it would be nice to be able to buy things like toilet paper and bread. Just nice.
On a happier note, I wrote a lot last weekend--if you can call it writing. I finished typing in my notes for that so-called novel of mine, though they're still in disarray, and I'm hoping to work on it regularly enough that I'll be able to actually start writing scenes. That is, when I'm not wibbling over bills, empty pocketbooks, and job applications.
We need to start a Merry fund...
current mood: furtive
current music: Hold on to Jesus
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
| |
8:27 pm - Missing God
|
What with graduation and chapter camp, I haven't been able to get to church for two weeks in a row. (Somehow the devotionals at chapter camp don't count for me.) I MISS IT. It's the fellowship, I think; it's not like I don't talk to God and see Him helping me every day (though I forget so quickly...).
So tonight I wanted to go to a midweek service, but I didn't find a nearby church fast enough online (it's hard to find a church within walking distance, no matter where you live. And I started too late to have 30 minutes to fastwalk to the nearest one.)
Pretty upsetting.
Then I turned the radio to the local Christian station, simply because I was tired of no-words music, and God spoke to me. He does that a lot through this station (once when I was scared and crying because I was alone at home, another time when I was looking for direction, etc etc). Somehow a song comes on when I most need to hear it, and the words are OBVIOUSLY directly to me.
From the ( Valley Song ),
the first song that played, the important part was the chorus: "I will sing of your mercy, that leads me through valleys of SORROW to rivers of JOY." God was validating my tears, and telling me that He'd lead me through it to a happy end. What cemented it for me was the verse "While we wait for rescue/With our eyes tightly shut/Face to the ground using our hands/To cover the fatal cut." My eyes WERE tightly shut at that point, my face down.
There were more songs... more crying... more laughter. God's good like that. I think I wouldn't love Him even the small amount I do if I didn't have to miss Him from time to time (every day, it seems like sometimes)--the longing transforms into joy.
current mood:  fulfilled
current music: Z 88.3 FM
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
| |
1:40 pm
|
In less than two hours, I will be home free. I'll still have work (and lots lots lots of it) but all the scary stuff will be past. It makes me wonder, though, if I should try to incorporate the scary stuff (speaking in public) into my life on a regular basis, so that it becomes natural. I know that it can, from having gone through the same process with singing.
Once this is over, I'll be able to see over the horizon to the next three months, re jobs and other circumstances. Perhaps fears for those things, like a fresh blast of wind, will hit me then. Only time will tell. I'm so glad I'm not doing this alone. *hugs roomies, and thanks God*
current mood:  anxious
current music: Various Mussorgsky and Grieg songs
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
runescarlet's journal